His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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