A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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