Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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