aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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