This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
