biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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