so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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