i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
