i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
