Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
