So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just blew my weed a kiss
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
