in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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