I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
