You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
