he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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