I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
