Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you had me at cake vodka
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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