Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
