I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
