Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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