Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
