I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
