You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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