That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
