i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
