and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
