i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
