they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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