There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
