Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
