He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
