Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A+ Viking dick
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
