"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
