Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
50% drunk capacity currently
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
