I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
