i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
