craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
