What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
be right there i have to get my cape
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
