last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
