True but thats because hes a fetus.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize