im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have aggressive nipples.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
