My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
