I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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