I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
