I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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