I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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