I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
