I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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