i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
