Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
