Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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