when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
