just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
