How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
