I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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