Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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