I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
