Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
