A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
