Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i love accidental penises.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
