I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
