she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
