You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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